Road Foods of RAGBRAI

Continuing comments from the world that is RAGBRAI.

Over the years, we've developed a list of the regular food vendors you see year in and year out.  Some are good, some are great, and some are things you just can't do every day.  While the big vendors aren't actually a formal part of the organization, they are a part of RAGBRAI life on the road. I'm still not sure whether the 'regular' vendors get 'tipped' by the organizers about the route, or if they just hit the road as soon as the route is announced to secure their spots in pass-through or overnight towns, and along the route each day.  These tents, grills and trucks pack it up every day, reload their provisions and move 50-75 miles down the road to do it again.  No 'chains', no pre-packaged, no mixes.  It's fresh, real, and fairly priced.
Some of our favorites, listed here somewhat in the order that they appear along the route each day.

Farm Boys - usually within the first 5-10 miles of the day.  Breakfast burritos, coffee, pancakes - basically a full service breakfast.  The food is good, but the lines are generally 100 deep (or more) at 6:30 in the morning.  I can't imagine what they are like at 8:00.  This is *the* place to get a cure for the hangover you earned the night before.

Service club breakfast - in the first town or two along the route there is almost always a Rotary, Lions, VFW, or fire hall that's serving breakfast.  Usually a much shorter line than Farm Boys, just without the name.

Almost every town will have numerous vendors, both local and part of the 'traveling circus' doing everything from pop and water to full service meals.  Most bars will have a special, gas stations and groceries overstock, and Hy-Vee runs specials, brings in *pallets* of ice, beer, water, tons of bananas, dinner specials, lunch specials, special specials.  We love Hy-Vee.

Mr. Pork Chop - I've honestly never stopped for Mr Pork Chop.  The idea of having a 10 or 12 ounce pork chop sit on my stomach at 10:00 in the morning has never even remotely appealed to me.  I'll rely on friends with good taste in pork, and more of a cast iron stomach to tell me he does a really good job - cooked right, not undercooked, juicy and tender.  According to my taster friend, 'a helluva lot better than porkchop on a stick at the State Fair'.  Mr Pork Chop can usually be found somewhere around the halfway point of the ride, plus or minus about 20 miles.  Easy to spot - they'll put out signs at 5 miles and 1 mile out, and there is always a smoke cloud coming off the grill. Real fire, real food.

Tender Tom's Turkey - Another one that I can't honestly evaluate.  Tender Tom's Turkey legs are a staple, always a line, and well regarded by a couple of carnivores that I call friends. Mind you they think beer is PBR or Grain Belt, and haven't really discovered craft brewing as a lifestyle.

Church lady pie - word spreads through town about who has the best pie, best cinnamon rolls, and best sloppy joes (or Maid Rites).  I'll often have pie for a mid-ride stop, or if it's really hot, maybe a smoothie.

Smoothies - the hardest choice is deciding between vendors.  There is almost always a smoothie vendor, maybe 3 in any town along the route.  It's just a matter of walking past, figuring out who is using a mixture of fruit you like.  Mostly, it's going to be bananas, OJ, frozen strawberries, and pineapple (fresh or frozen) and maybe some berries of some kind.  And if it's warm, there will be a line.

Pastafaria - (retired, gone, not forgotten, dammit) - Our favorite stop along the route.  I would plan lunch on the longer days for Pastafaria.  They had two choices, penne with pesto, or penne with arrabbiatta (spicy red).  A full paper boat of their stuff would get you home.  I keep hope that someone will fill this void - good food for riding, Flying Spaghetti Monsters

Farm stands - all along the route, there are dozens of farm kids out selling gatorade, powerade, water, bananas, homemade cookes, powerbars - basically anything that might sell.  Pick the right location and product mix, and an enterprising 4H'er can pull in a thousand bucks or more.  Pick the wrong one, and it can be a looooong day.  The best stands are just at the crest of the hill, and toward the end of a long section in between towns.  The ones you feel the most sorry for are the ones halfway down a hill, or just before/after a town.  Have a nice lawn? Shade? Chairs? A petting zoo? Friendly Golden Retrievers? Antique farm machinery? People will come, Ray. People will come.

And then there's Beekman's.  What bike ride would be complete without ice cream. And what could possibly be better than ice cream that's made in churns powered by a STEAM ENGINE???  And it's really, really good ice cream.  I can't do (or afford) Beekman's every day, but on the longer days, when the wind is blowing in your face and the road isn't smooth, it's a real treat.

Such a creative anachronism.  Note the solar panel mounted on the engine.

Great Rides - RAGBRAI

Volumes have been written about RAGBRAI - the Register Annual Great Bicycle Ride Across Iowa, so I'll omit most of the hyperbole about the event.  In short, it's an experience, not a ride.  There are only a couple of one day rides in the country (or the world for that matter) with anything approaching 10,000 riders on the road for 50mi/80k.  Doing this for 7 straight days? Only one place in the world - Iowa.  RAGBRAI is a week long series of one-day rides starting on the western border of Iowa (tradition is to dip your tire in the Missouri river) and finishes on the eastern border with a tire dip in the Mississippi.  In between, the ride passes through numerous small towns a day, overnighting at stops that typically are 40-70 miles apart.  Riding the road with that many people deserves another separate article, and I'll take that on in an upcoming post.

I often refer to RAGBRAI as going on a week-long ride with 15,000 of my closest personal friends.  Other phrases I've heard: "spring break for adults", "went to a party and a bike ride broke out", and lots of others.  RAGBRAI acquired a certain reputation for rowdy, drunken, naked partying in the early days, when beer and other enticements were plentiful, and the overnight campgrounds were something out of Woodstock.  Things have calmed down over time - probably partially due to some of the participants growing up, or growing into middle age.

I don't know that RAGBRAI could happen in any other state in America.  A large part of what makes the entire week work is that there is a town of some description every 5-10 miles on every route, every year.  This is the likely the only place in the country that has enough small towns and smaller highways to make it work.  A large part of the charm of the week is the ride through these small towns.

So what does a town of 250-500 people need to do to get ready for RAGBRAI?  Apparently quite a bit.  The organizers have meetings for the local government, the business people, volunteers, the church ladies, and particularly food and beverage people.  Even in Iowa there are rules about what 'homemade' means when you are serving 10-15,000.  In nearly every town, not only will smart local restaurants figure out something to bring out to the street for 'quick food', but the churches, civic clubs, scouts, choirs, 4H - just about anyone who can will sell pop, pie, burgers, breakfast, ice cream...  And in every town, the bars will have some kind of entertainment - and definitely a 'happy hour'.  Most RAGBRAI riders spend 50 bucks a day or more on food, drinks and entertainment, and while most of this is in the overnight towns, the waypoint towns do well too.

The overnight towns are nothing short of amazing. Take a town of 5,000 and add 20,000 overnight 'guests' into the city limits.  Figure out where to put up tent cities for 15,000 of these.  And find volunteers who are willing to let around 5,000 stay in their backyards and basements.  Organize the churches and VFWs to put on dinner for a few thousand, find a place for the traveling food circus (think state fair food vendors on wheels) to set up each day.  And make sure every establishment that serves food is prepared to be inundated.  The smart restaurants will create a RAGBRAI special menu serving a pasta buffet, sloppy joes, or something else that they can do in volume and keep the prices reasonable (and make a much better profit than on their average night).  Make sure they have extra staff on call, and maybe even use paper plates and plastic silverware instead of their normal china.  Pizza Ranch, a popular chain in Iowa, keeps their buffet line running full tilt. Local Subways bring in extra staff.  And for the true mom&pop places, they make a calculated decision to play or take the day off.  (Mostly they play).

We've had some great meals at RAGBRAI, and some epic waits.  Rule 1: Eat early.  If you can't eat early, leave town. The wait will be shorter in a town somewhere nearby.  The longest wait was the day we didn't head out to eat until nearly 5:00.  Bad move.  The lines were already long, and the best looking place was a Mexican joint that looked big enough to handle the traffic.  We_were_wrong...
5:00 - queue up in line
6:00 - finally make it to the point we could give our name for a table
7:00 - get table
7:15 - snag bus bucket and bar rag, bus our own table
7:30 - realize there are about 1/4 the number of staff needed to support.  Snag menus, figure out order, snag waiter. Promises he'll come get our order.
8:00 - Still no waiter. Grab 'Mom' - owner's somewhat older mother - who took our order.
8:45 - More wait/bus staff arrive.  Called in family from out of town who came to help after they finished their shift
9:15 - food arrives. Absolutely starving. Food was good.  Chips were good. Looking for anything left over.  Eat someone's leftover tortilla and more chips.
9:50 - Everyone is done, pay tab, leave good tip. head back to campsite.  Line is still out door. Mama looks happy but exhausted. Owner looks shell shocked.

Another meal in a smaller town:
4:00 - queue up for dinner
4:30 - wait staff already looks fried
5:00 - realize they are not prepared for RAGBRAI.  Empty tables, not seating until they are clean, nobody to clean tables. Waiter taking orders, dishwasher coming out to clear tables. Owner cooking by himself.
6:00 - finally get table. Owner comes out to wipe half the menu off board (the best half, at that).  Too late to change plans.
6:30 - food comes out. Most orders wrong.  Decide to make do.
7:30 - finally get bill.  Owner is closing up. Out of food.  Bill is wrong. Sort out and leave.  Cheezy tip.  Feel bad for owner. Wish he'd planned better.

The difference - the Mexican place had planned for food, but understaffed.  They managed to regroup and ad-lib.  The 'family' spot didn't plan, didn't staff, and had obviously never seen their tables turn over with all tables full.  And ran out of food.  They'll probably go on a holiday if RAGBRAI ever returns there as an overnight.

And finally, all that food creates a sanitation issue.  Even if there were enough toilets available, 20,000 people added to a 5,000 person town would overwhelm even the most optimistically designed waste water treatment system.  So they bring in portable toilets.  I could do a whole article on branding these ubiquitous green, grey and olive boxes.  So every morning, approximately 1/2 of the hundreds of Kybos are emptied, loaded on flatbed semis, and moved to the next day's waypoints and overnight towns.  Note - semis.  Many semis.  Hundreds of kybos scattered around the campgrounds, near the food circus, near the stage area.  Hundreds of them.

Only in Iowa. Can't wait to do it again this year!